Least interesting things said at impromptu, tri-generation drinking session last night, in descending order of sobriety

Jeannie: “Men march to a different drum. It’s called the Dumb Drum.”

Betty: [on a perceived offender and items whose possession is in dispute] “I’m like, I already got the come around, so you’re gonna get the go around. I’ll piss on it and set it on fire.”

Betty: “He thought he was the coolest cat in the world. But what you have to remember, she told me, is ‘he’s dead, and you’re alive.’ Let’s party.”

Jeannie: “Mom, that guy with the white hair is kind of good-looking. In the booth by the wall. Sarah, don’t turn around–he’s the only one back there.”

Betty: “That grandpa on the end? He ain’t bad.”

Jeannie: “But here’s the thing: He’s wearing tangerine.”