She’s dead-ass serious and has at least two true kidnapping stories from the 1960s that would destroy you

Betty: [yelling from bedroom] SARAH! Are you busy?

Sarah: [yelIing back from dining table] I’m eating the carrot soup I just made. Do you need somethin’?

Betty: NAH. I’ll tell you later.

::Sarah goes to Betty’s bedroom, where TV is showing sensational criminal mystery documentary a la Dateline, which is the only sort of thing she watches besides the Food Network::

Sarah: What’s up?

Betty: [eyes sparkling, voice excited] Phones now, the cameras in them have some sort of GPS tracking that only the FBI can see in the picture. If you ever get kidnapped, take a picture.

Sarah: Hey, good to know. ::returns to dining room to resume eating soup::